So there I was, shelving in the 610’s, all the wild animals of the 500’s at my back, the words of Chris Webb ringing in my ears (…we’re ALL dummies about Something….) and I turned to slide the gazzilionth book into it’s proper place and there, staring me in the face from the spine of a bright yellow Dummies book was that grandmotherly sexpert, Dr. Ruth Westheimer.
I would have expected Dr. Ruth to be looking out from the front cover of her book. I suspect she slipped around onto the spine in order to observe the intimate habits of the 500’s fauna across the aisle, having tired of reading her neighbor’s back cover. I picked up Dr. Ruth and put her on the lower shelf of my cart and then grabbed the next two intelligence-impaired titles extant, which proved to be The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Amazing Sex and First Aid & Safety for Dummies.
It reminded me why I don’t like hanging out in bars. I pontificated pithily, Ron returned with a self-deprecating joke and Chris Webb of Wiley Publishing sauntered up to us, threw an arm around Ron’s shoulder, chuckled manfully and chirped ‘Right, buddy. We’re all dummies about something. And a good guide book sure can help.’
Ron and I exchanged a Look, but said nothing. Which is all you can say when a stranger wanders into a conversation and contributes something that quite misses the point. To wit, my dislike of book titles that address their readers as "Dummies" or "Complete Idiots" stems not from being too dense to ‘get’ that no insult is intended and that the publisher is seeking to re-assure potential readers that subjects they find alien and incomprehensible can be explained and made understandable but rather from the belief that far too much of our public discourse has already been ‘dumbed down’ to a degree that reasonably intelligent people seem proud to refer to themselves as dummies or idiots, a dumbing down of which these book titles are more reflection than cause. (And please consider that as my entry for Longest Run On Compound Complex Sentence when it’s time to select nominees for the Grammar Awards.)
I’ve long been a fan of Dr. Ruth Westheimer. There’s just something about a conservative, grandmotherly woman matter-of-factly discussing the most intimate and controversial matters as though she were sharing a recipe for cookies. Sex for Dummies seemed to me much like a conventional sex education manual. It begins with basic anatomy, covers all the mechanics and then ventures on to more specialized topics. I really appreciate the way Westheimer communicates her own very conventional and conservative values while explaining in great detail all of the other options without ever seeming judgmental of those who choose differently than she does. As Dr. Ruth herself makes clear in the introduction, this book would be most useful for young adults who are ready to begin sexual activity and have forgotten all those embarrassing health class lectures from sixth grade.
First Aid & Safety for Dummies is likewise a pretty standard first aid manual, which served mainly to remind me how much I had forgotten from the first aid classes I took years and years ago. It made me think that maybe I should take a refresher course, which would probably be a good idea for most people who have been trained in first aid but haven’t used it or had additional training for some years.
For the idiots, Sari Locker takes a very different approach. While all of the standard sex-ed information is there and there are lots of icons in the software manual style of all the dummies and idiots books, the focus here is much more on spicing up your sex life with much discussion of things like Tantric sex, the particulars of S & M, fantasy and role playing and sex toys. More so than the Dummies guide, this book might be of interest to older readers seeking to move beyond the missionary position.
A final note– While both of these guides do have a chapter devoted to homosexuality, and take pains to make clear that Gay Is Good, their focus is Very heterosexual and neither would be of much use to a gay man or a lesbian, either of whom would be better served by seeking books geared specifically to them.
In the library, the sex manuals can be found at 613.96. First aid is at 616.0252.
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September 26th, 2007 at 10:15 am
Ahem, we may all be dummies about something but I’m willing to bet the farm that SEX is something that you need no further education about.
Technically, though, I’m a virgin again (it’s been more than five years), therefore I’ll be picking up all of your recommendations.
September 26th, 2007 at 1:21 pm
when I was at LSU there was woman who who called herself Sister Cindy who used to preach (scream) most every afternoon in front of the student union. sister cindy was all hell fire and brimstone and told us we would all burn in the ‘lakes of fire’. she claimed to have regained her virginity in a burger king parking lot. I had no idea it came back on its own after 5 years….
September 26th, 2007 at 3:48 pm
I still remember the technicalities of the act (insert tab “A” into slot “B”, etc.) It’s the nuances of lovemaking I forget.
September 27th, 2007 at 5:06 am
THANK YOU! I thought I was the only person that didn’t want a book telling me I was an idiot every time I looked at it.
September 27th, 2007 at 9:19 am
Hi Staci,
Thanks for visiting my blog. Perhaps we should introduce a competing line of guides for the wickedly clever
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September 27th, 2007 at 7:36 pm
I used to work for an ISP that gave out the Internet for Dummies book with every new sign-up. A few people were insulted and a few others sold theirs on eBay. I HATED the calls from the offended people.
I also find the books fairly useless when I have tried to use one. They seem to take you right to the point of learning something useful, and they back down.
September 27th, 2007 at 9:45 pm
I used to work in tech support and then in customer service for earthink. some of the dummies titles are better than others. it mostly the name I dislike